Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Because it means I'm in control!! It means I'm not just impulsively stuffing my mouth, I'm not eating because I'm bored, lonely, depressed, or celebrating; I'm choosing to eat only when I'm actually hungry! (haha, now watch me TOTALLY mess up next week, now that I've said that!)
And I'm so pleased to be able to report that I'm right back where I was two weeks ago. That's right, after having to report a gain of 3.6# last week (eeek), I can report a LOSS OF 3.6 today!!!! Woo-hoo!!!
I'm sure I lost most of it last night. Man, I tell ya, if you want a workout ~ and I mean a workout like you've never had before if all you do is running, spinning, and the odd aerobics class as a rule ~ grab the nearest 5-yr old, follow them to school, and run around in the gym with them for an hour, playing their games the way THEY play them!!! Oh. My. Goodness. I almost DIED last night at my youngest's "family gym night" event!!
Two years ago, when my oldest was in kindergarten, I managed to LOOK like I was participating without actually doing much. This year, I determined I'd get right in there. (mostly because hubby wasn't along this time, and I couldn't rely on his enthusiasm for play to overshadow my laziness!) Due to the running I've been doing over the last few months, I could easily have handled playing the various games of tag for the full hour. No problems there. I wasn't even breathing as hard as many of the kids! (woo-hoo! SCORE for me!)
Towards the end of the hour, we played this stop-start-crawllikecrazy-then-get-up-and-run-again relay race-type game that seriously almost made me pass out. I felt very green for a few minutes and had to sit down against the cold concrete wall. That was some incredibly intense interval training!
But what a great feeling to survive it!! When we got home, the girls had a piece of dessert before bed because they claimed they were both starving, and while I was very tempted to have one as well (and I'd TOTALLY earned it!), I waited until they were in bed and then I had a pear. That's it! Just a pear. And some unsweeted green tea.
I haven't felt that satisfied with the choices I've made in a very long time.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Breakfast: coffee, 1 c. skim milk (some in the coffee), 1 slice toast w/Nutella
Lunch: 3 cornmeal muffins w/margarine & honey
Afternoon: 1 mini Banana Chip Muffin
Evening: 2 regular-sized Banana Chip Muffins w/margarine
Breakfast: 1 c. skim milk (some in my coffee)
(jogged 1.5 miles in three half-mile intervals)
Afternoon: 1 mug green tea w/skim milk & honey
Supper: 1 slice cheddar, 1 burrito (approx 1/3 c. mixed taco beef, cooked rice, guacamole and a slice of cheddar wrapped in a 10" tortilla ~ great way to clean up leftover odds and ends!!), 1 stalk celery dipped in Caesar dressing
Evening: unsweetened green mint tea, 1 stalk of celery w/peanut butter
Total exercise time: 4 hrs, 10 mins (avg: 36 min/day)
Average Exercise Level: Moderate to Heavy
Total distance travelled: 12 mi/19.3 km (converting Pilates workouts and raking into miles adds approximately another 7.5 miles/12.1 kms to the physical distance travelled the days actually I went for a walk or jog.)
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
I'm so unimpressed with myself. Every now and again, I have a month where the week before "TOM" arrives, I'm just completely out of control. There's literally this sense of desperation to cram every last morsel in the house down my gullet. This month was by far my worst experience with it.
So that, combined with having company from Friday afternoon to Monday afternoon, which makes drinking juice instead of eating make me look like a questionable hostess....
Not good. VERY BAD, in fact.
This week's goals: no evening snacking, more prayer and inspirational reading when the munchies attack, and following my own advice!!!!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Breakfast: coffee, 1 c. skim milk (some in the coffee), 1/2 slice toast w/margarine & Nutella
Afternoon: two handfuls assorted jelly beans, candy corn, etc.
Supper: nacho chips and homemade guacamole
Evening: more nacho chips w/guacamole. And some halloween chocolates. And then some more. And then some toasted pumpkin seeds. And then another chocolate. And another...
Ugh. Today. I. was. HORRIBLE!!!!!! Fortunately, weigh-in was first thing in the morning before the madness began. But still. Even if tomorrow wasn't a liquids day, I'd be tempted to punish myself by enforcing a fast.
Wednesday (liquids day)
Morning: coffee w/skim milk
(jogged and walked half-mile intervals)
Afternoon: 1-1/2 c. unsweetened apple juice, large mug ginger peach tea w/honey, 1 mug Chai tea w/skim milk & honey
Supper: 1 c. Multi-bean soup, 2 cheddar drop biscuits w/margarine, 1 c. iced tea
Evening: Blew it again. Halloween chocolates, 1 can Coke, and crackers w/swiss and cheddar cheese. This always happens when hubby has to leave for the night. I am so unimpressed with myself.
Breakfast: 1 Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffin w/margarine, 1/2 c. skim milk (all in my coffee ~ I had lots of coffee this morning!)
Early Lunch: 1 mug hot chocolate milk, 2 leftover garlic cheese biscuits from last night's supper
Afternoon: 1 serving Spaghetti w/Tuna & Lemon, 1 garlic cheese biscuit, 1 c. apple juice
Supper: 1 serving Shepherd's Pie, 1 serving Taco Chip Salad (lettuce, tomatoes, shredded cheddar, crushed nacho chips, dressing: half and half lite Miracle Whip and Calorie-Wise Sundried Tomato & Oregano dressing)
Evening: Wow, I'm not even going to detail what I ate. Suffice it to say, it was a binge of epic proportions.
I'm expecting "that time of the month" this weekend and every now and again, I've discovered this makes me eat uncontrollably. I seriously feel like I MUST stuff myself. It doesn't happen every month, but I've definitely noticed a bit of a pattern.
Breakfast: 1 small bowl Corn Flakes w/a skim milk and a bit of brown sugar, 1 c. apple juice, coffee w/skim milk
Lunch: 1 peanut butter & Nutella tortilla roll-up sandwich, 1 c. skim milk
Supper: 1 serving ham fried rice, 1 large serving Japanese coleslaw, 2 egg rolls w/plum sauce, 2 c. iced tea, 1 halloween chocolate
Brunch: 1 Brunch Enchilada, 1 large cornmeal muffin, coffee w/skim milk, 1 c. V8 Splash, 1 serving EACH orange and apple slices
Snack: 1 cinnamon roll, 2 slices cheddar, 1/2 c. skim milk
(jogged 3/4 in four intervals)
Supper: 1/2 large barbecued pork chop, 1 large serving Herbed Mashed Potatoes, 1 large serving cooked carrots w/honey & ginger, 2 c. iced tea, 1 serving Gingerbread Cake w/Caramel Cream frosting, 1 c. skim milk
Breakfast: 1 bowl Corn Flakes w/skim milk, 1 c. V8 Splash, coffee w/skim milk
Lunch: 1 small slice bread w/margarine, 3 slices cheddar, 6 soda crackers, 1 c. Lemon Chicken Soup, handful mini chocolate bars
2.25 miles: 40 min
Supper: 1 large serving Cordon Bleu Casserole Supreme, 1 serving steamed broccoli, 1 c. iced tea
Breakfast: coffee w/skim milk, 1 c. V8 Splash
Lunch: 1 Brunch Enchilada, pickles, 1/2 slice toast w/margarine & Nutella, 1 slice toast w/margarine & jam, 1 c. iced tea
Afternoon: 1 mug tea w/honey
2.25 miles: 30 min
(jogged 3/4 in four intervals)
Supper: 1 c. hot V8 w/swiss cheese, soda crackers, and a slice of rye bread w/margarine, 1/2 c. V8 Splash
Evening: Well, let's just say, "par for the course."
Wow. I think the scale is going to run and hide when it sees me come into the bathroom tomorrow morning... This was NOT a good week.
Average Exercise Level: Moderate to difficult
Total distance travelled: 13.5 mi/21.7 km
Thursday, November 12, 2009
I've a confession to make. My last two evenings have been dismal failures in the self-discipline department. I have binged like you wouldn't believe. I can hardly believe it. While incredibly annoying and frustrating, I find it interesting that these kinds of evenings only seem to happen when I'm actually following a plan of sorts.
For the months in between this current return to the eating plan on the sidebar and the previous one (which ended in the beginning of July), I've rarely had what I'd call an evening binge. Regular evening snacking, yes; but not bingeing. And now, in the last week and a half since returning to the program, I've had at least three.
Isn't that the way it always seems to work? As soon as you make the resolution, the follow-through becomes more of a challenge than it was before?
For believers in Christ, I think this makes perfect sense. When we're coasting along, not being deliberate about our lives, the devil isn't concerned about the effect we'll have on the world around us. It's once we start burning a little brighter that he starts gettin' nervous, throwing up the distractions and the roadblocks.
I found some great wisdom and encouragement on the Desiring God blog this morning and I want to share it with you, too.
Now, if that doesn't help you view your temptations and struggles in a new light, I don't know what will!!!
Did you wake up not feeling like reading your Bible and praying? How many times today have you had to battle not feeling like doing things you know would be good for you?
While it’s true that this is our indwelling sin that we must repent of and fight against, there’s more going on.
Think about this strange pattern that occurs over and over in just about every area of life:
This goes on and on.
- Good food requires discipline to prepare and eat while junk food tends to be the most tasty, addictive, and convenient.
- Keeping the body healthy and strong requires frequent deliberate discomfort while it only takes constant comfort to go to pot.
- You have to make yourself pick up that nourishing theological book while watching a movie can feel so inviting.
- You frequently have to force yourself to get to devotions and prayer while sleeping, reading the sports, and checking Facebook seems effortless.
- To play beautiful music requires thousands of hours of tedious practice.
- To excel in sports requires monotonous drills ad nauseum.
- It takes years and years of schooling just to make certain opportunities possible.
The pattern is this: the greater joys are obtained through struggle and pain, while brief, unsatisfying, and often destructive joys are right at our fingertips. Why is this?
Because, in great mercy, God is showing us everywhere, in things that are just shadows of heavenly things, that there is a great reward for those who struggle through (Hebrews 10:32-35). He is reminding us repeatedly each day to walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). Each struggle is an invitation by God to follow in the footsteps of his Son, “who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:2).
Those who are spiritually blind only see futility in these things. But for those who have eyes to see, God has woven hope (faith in future grace) right into the futility of creation (Romans 8:20-21). Each struggle is a pointer saying, “Look! Look to the real Joy set before you!”
So when you don’t feel like doing what you know is best for you, take heart and don’t give in. Your Father is pointing you to the reward he has planned for all who endure to the end (Matthew 24:13).
For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are
unseen are eternal. (1 Corinthians 4:17-18)
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
This means, my friends, that since the very first year I was married (the year I packed on an incredible 40 lbs in just 6 months), this is the lightest I've ever been!!!
Oh, I've been lighter in my adult life, but since getting married and packing on all that weight, and TRYING to lose it year after year after year.... I'm finally getting somewhere!! I'm now exactly 2.2 lbs lighter than I've ever gotten on any previous attempt!! (yesterday, on my liquids day and after my run, it was closer to 4 pounds, but supper changed things a little.)
I'm loving the partnership I have with my bloggy friends Susanne and Jamie and the wonderful encouragement and support these ladies are. Knowing they're whispering prayers for me throughout the day certainly helps in the will-power department!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
2.25 miles: 30 min
Lunch: 1/2 c. Creamy Wild Rice Soup
Afternoon: 1 large mug green tea w/1 tsp. honey
Supper: 1 small helping Beefy Jalapeno Corn Bake, 1/3 c. Salsa Rice, 1 large helping Cucumber Salad, 1 c. pink lemonade, 1 slice Chocolate Cream Pie (1/8 of a 9" deep dish pie ~ I made way too much on the weekend and now we've got this problem of having to eat it because it doesn't freeze well!) 1 c. skim milk
Evening: 1 individual Reese's Peanut Butter Cup and 1 mini Oh Henry bar
Okay, the "half" day kinda fell apart when we'd finished supper. We really do need to finish the pies (I've got a whole pumpkin pie in the fridge yet, too!) because ain't NO WAY I'm lettin' that Chocolate Cream go bad!!!!!! My stomach was growling later in the evening, so that's how I justified the two small halloween chocolates. I know, I know, I didn't follow the rules. I guarantee you I ate less than I have been, but definitely still more than half. It'll take me a while to get my head back into this, I think.
Wednesday (liquids day)
Breakfast: 1 c. skim milk, some of it in the coffee
Lunch: 1 c. hot V8 (w/a few seasonings and spices; eaten like tomato soup), 1 c. V8 splash
Afternoon: 1 large mug green tea w/1 tsp. honey
Supper: 1 serving Sunday Brunch Casserole, 1 slice Chocolate Cream Pie w/whipping cream, 1 c. skim milk (everyone else had just chocolate pie or pumpkin pie, but because I hadn't eaten all day, I wanted something other than just pie. I know, it's a weird meal, but, well, you can read about it here.)
Thursday ("normal" day)
Breakfast: 1 small-ish slice toast (it was the crust, so it was a bit smaller than a full-size slice) w/margarine & Nutella, 1 c. skim milk, coffee
2.25 miles: 30 min
(four reps of jogging 3/8-mile, walking 1/8-mile with 1/8-mile warm-up/cool-down walk at each end)
Mid-morning: 1 banana
Lunch: 1 large serving Thanksgiving in a Pan (made with double gravy and a layer of mashed potatoes), 1 c. V8 Splash, 1 small piece Layered Pumpkin Cheesecake w/whipping cream
Afternoon tea: large mug tea w/1 tsp. honey, probably 2 servings of fresh fruit ~ cantaloupe, oranges, and apples.
Supper: small helping One Pot Ham Dinner, 1 large helping tossed salad w/Thousand Island dressing, 1 piece chocolate cream pie w/whipping cream, 1 c. skim milk
Evening: too many nacho chips w/salsa, 8 mini chocolate bars. UGH.
Friday (liquids day)
Breakfast: 1 c. skim milk, some of that in my coffee
Lunch: 1 c. hot V8
3.25 miles: 60 min
Afternoon: 1 c. V8 Splash
Supper: small serving barbecued chicken, 2 helpings scalloped potatoes, 2 servings cooked corn, raw carrot sticks and tomato slices, TWO slices of bread w/margarine, small helping apple crisp w/vanilla ice cream, coffee w/2% milk
We were invited over to the pastor's home for supper and I was FAMISHED!!!! Despite the large supper I ate, my stomach started howling again around 9:30, shortly after we got home, and I ended up having two handfuls of soda crackers and a glass of skim milk yet before going to bed! Amazingly, my Saturday morning weight was unchanged from my weigh-in weight.
Saturday (normal day)
Breakfast: 1 c. skim milk (some in my coffee), 2 pancakes w/margarine and syrup
4.25 miles: 60 min
(jogging and walking in half-mile repetitions, with a 1/8-mi warm-up/cool-down walk at each end)
Aternoon: 1-1/2 servings Sunday Brunch Casserole, 1 c. V8 Splash
Supper: A&W onion rings, Teen Burger, 3/4 large root beer, 5 halloween chocolates, 1 c. skim milk
Ugh. WAY too many of the wrong kinds of rewards today!!
Sunday (half day)
Breakfast: 1/2 piece toast w/margarine & saskatoon jam, LOTS of coffee w/skim milk
Lunch: 1 bowl hot V8, 1 cheese toast, 2 small slices cheese (while I was making lunch), 3 soda crackers, 1/2 c. skim milk, 1 Oreo cookie
3.25 miles: 55 min
Supper: 1/2 bun w/margarine, 2 slices cheddar, a bunch of pickles, 1 small bowl of cherry preserves, several chunks of canteloupe
Evening: 1 mug peppermint green tea w/honey
Well, I don't like half days any more than the first time I went through this, but despite my dismal failure at lunch, the other two meals were definitely HALFERS!! I had to go to bed early to keep from eating in the evening.
Monday (liquids day)
Breakfast: coffee and 1 c. skim milk, 1 c. V8 Splash
2.25 miles: 40 min
(jogged a combined total of 1.25 miles in 4 intervals, walked the rest)
Late Lunch: 1-1/2 c. hot V8, 1 c. V8 Splash
Afternoon Tea: 1 mug unsweetened green tea, 3 bite-sized pieces of celery w/peanut butter (fixing the girls an afternoon snack killed me! I didn't have much trouble with stomach rumblies today until our regular snack time after school.)
Evening: 1 stalk celery w/peanut butter, 1 orange, 1 c. skim milk ~ all while hubby sat beside me on the couch eating halloween chocolates!!!!!!!!!!!
Total exercise time: 4 hrs, 35 min (avg: 39 min/day)
Average Exercise Level: Moderate to heavy
Total distance travelled: 17.5 miles/28.16 km
All in all, an okay week. Felt especially good to get back into jogging. We'll see how long the road conditions allow it!
Monday, November 9, 2009
It's been a while since I've posted... too long, actually. I am reporting in today at my HIGHEST weight EVER. Yet, I am not depressed, nor discouraged. I am on a journey... a pilgrimage... and the only way to get there is ONE STEP at a time.
Today I am focusing on the lies that I have believed about myself:
- You're not good enough.
- You can't do it.
- You don't deserve it.
- You'll never make it.
- Your doomed to be this way.
- You're such a disappointment.
- You'll always be that girl with "such a pretty face"... but the rest of you will never amount to anything.
He (the devil) was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. - John 8:44It's time to look up from my mess... quit focusing on the negative... STOP BELIEVING the lies and cast my eyes upon the hills:
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. - John 10:10
I lift up my eyes to the hills—You know... in a way he's right. The devil, I mean... maybe that's why his lies are so believable.
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—indeed, he who watches over Israel
he who watches over you will not slumber;
will neither slumber nor sleep.
I can't do this. Not on my own. Not in my own strength. But "with God, all things are possible"... and "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength".
It's a NEW day!!!
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
Thank you JESUS!!! You are my STRENGTH, my SHIELD, my PORTION, my ROCK, my REDEEMER, my DELIVERER, and my FORTRESS... I will not be moved!!
So today, I will believe:
- I CAN do this.
- I WILL do this.
- I AM worthy of success.
- God IS who he says he is.
- God CAN DO what he says he will do.
- I AM who God says I am.
- I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens me.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
I'd hoped to be at 157.0 this morning, and I was! Which means I'm down 1.8# from last week.
AND we had company from Friday night to Sunday night, I did NOT really do as well in the eating department as I would have liked, and I think I've only walked ONCE in the last 3 weeks.... It just really doesn't make sense to me.
Is it just me, or does this weight-loss thing appear very RANDOM much of the time? I'm not complaining, of course (not THIS time, anyway!!), but it does often seem to have little rhyme or reason, doesn't it?
Anyhoo... I've decided to re-adopt the eating plan on the sidebar and go through the 8-week Becoming a Woman of Moderation Bible study again with a bloggy friend. It will be a challenge, no doubt ~ and especially since we can't physically meet with each other ~ but with all that the Internet and modern computers have to offer, I'm sure we'll have no problems keeping in touch and keeping each other accountable. Well, no problems keeping in touch, for sure. The accountability thing will undoubtedly be a bit tougher!!
But I look forward to good results. AND to starting off the New Year (which begins exactly 8 weeks from Friday ~ that's right, you heard me!) on a positive note, instead of regretting over-eating and having to make the same ol' resolutions I always have in the past!!